American 187

(Websters definition of Retarded: slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress)

“Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me lean and watch me rock
Super man that hoe
Then watch me crank that Robocop
Super fresh, now watch me jock
Jocking on them haters man
When I do that soulja boy
I lean to the left and crank that thang”

Crank That, a popular song by Soulja Boy, has been a national phenomenon and is currently being played by the likes of MTV, VH1, BET, at dance clubs, and in bars across the nation. After my initial listening of the song a few months ago and the many repeated times while frequenting bars in the local area, I often find myself asking the very same question over and over again ……Why the Fuck do people listen to this shit?

After looking over the actual lyrics to this “song” I had no idea someone could make Rich Boy seem like Bill Shakespeare (Just read the lyrics posted above). I thought music had hit rock bottom with Rich Boys Throw some D’s on it. Well ladies and gentlemen there is a new king of Shit Mountain.

You may be asking yourself “But Jarrod, this song is so last month. I don’t even like it anymore” and I realize this but the reason I am ranting about it today is that the huge popularity of the song has spawned many more sequels from this artist (I use the term very very loosely) and many more dumbass rappers (note: not emcees) that think they can spit over a beat they don’t deserve.

Well I have discovered the reason behind the popularity of this phenomenon………

Drunk ass women at bars and night clubs who obviously don’t realize what the fuck the “song” is about. Apparently women love to dance to some guy calling them bitches and hoes and wanting to Robocop them because “the beat is just so good”. Listen up ladies………Stop.

Oh and what the fuck is this all about?

In conclusion Soulja Boy and everyone out there who aspires to be like Soulja Boy needs to….